Sense being on this spiritual journey I have learned so much with even more to learn. Life on earth is just one big school. There are times I ask myself what have I done, why did I choose to move to the mountains and live off grid? I haven’t been given a clear answer, while I do get the thought and feeling of faith along with a knowing all is well.
This week has been an adventure as generator will not start, toilet clogged and solar has been minimal. It’s at these times where new insights arise. This morning I awoke remembering a dream which doesn’t happen often. All I remember about the dream is I was flying around a house from room to room.
As I built a fire this morning I kept remembering the dream as I looked for clarity. The word damsel came to mind. Now what in the heck is that suppose to mean. I took time to meditate on the word damsel as I felt empty inside, but why? Ah the emptiness I felt was the same feeling I felt prior and the only way I can describe it is a feeling of a hole in my soul.
The first thought was to do another soul cleanse. With the temperature outside at -1 along with being six am I decided to meditate and plug the hole in my heart chakra. The hole was about two inches in diameter and as I witnessed what I perceived to be the hole I decided to stop energy from seeping out. As I plugged the hole I began to feel my heart fill with love as my heart grew bigger and full of life.
I have known for many years I could and would go out of my way so another person would feel love, joy, happiness and success. When it came to me it was a different sensation.
The message: No one can give me the answers I seek or the feelings I want to feel. It is up to me and only I have the answers and can do the healing. Yesterday an insight came to me as I had felt I needed to do something in order to be accepted by God and spirit. I thought of that most of the day as I realized I do not need to do anything to be accepted except to release myself of the burden I had placed on myself.
I also realized I had played the role of damsel. Not openly seeking to be rescued, while actually seeking someone to rescue me in some manner instead of standing on my own two feet.
Love and hugs